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This Book Is Gay, By Juno Dawson:

Available at: Hempfield Area High School

Summary of Concerns:
This book teaches children how to go onto adult sex apps like Grinder and arrange liaisons with adults.

Pg. 56

Gay men seem terrified of being campy. They plaster their Grindr profiles with “Straight Acting” and frantically grow beards. (More on hyper-masculinity in a moment.) The consensus seems to be that, while we think camp is great for talk show hosts, we don’t wanna sleep with it.

Pg. 148

• To have a good time. Whatever music you’re into, there’s a bar or club for you somewhere. You can go with your friends and dance your little gay socks off.

• To meet new friends. Contrary to popular belief, gay and bi people don’t always A. get it on or B. scratch each other’s eyes out on first contact. It is nice to have friends who understand what it’s like to be LGBT because we all have some shared experiences (e.g., coming out, the hilarity of Grindr).

• Sex. LGBT people cannot claim a monopoly on this one. Up and down the country, EVERYONE is going out to clubs to make out and perhaps something more. It’s the human mating dance, and we do it to David Guetta in sweaty underground lairs.

Pg. 155

Technology changes frighteningly quickly (the lesbian app Qrushr has been and gone already), but it seems that market leader, Grindr, is here to stay. Note: Grindr also has an age minimum age of eighteen years old

Pg. 156

How sex apps work:

1. Upload a tiny pic of yourself to the app.
2. The app works out your location.
3. The app tells you who the nearest homosexuals are.
4. You then chat to them.
5. Because they are near, it is easy to meet up with them.
   

NOW. Not everyone on a sex app is there for sex. Like a website, it’s just another way to meet like-minded guys or girls (there ARE lesbian versions out there). Once again, the app
removes the need to ask, “Hey! You over there with the arms! You gay?”

If you want to use a sex app for chatting or dates, be VERY clear about this. In this instance, posting a pic of your nekkid chest would be somewhat misleading, no? Similarly, if you’re looking for the ubiquitous “fun” (the words “sex,” “shag,” and the F-word, ironically, are banned on most sex apps), be upfront about it and then no one’s feelings are going to get hurt.

Most of us know at least one loving couple who met on a sex app and it became something more, but I’d politely suggest that downloading a sex app to find a committed partner is a little like going to KFC for a healthy meal—literally fruitless

Pg. 157-159

Pro sex app
“I have used Grindr—the advantages are you can get
what you want quickly. The downside is that its the
same people repeatedly, so can get boring very quickly, and there is an awful lot of ‘Hi, how are you?’, which people could do without. I prefer to be more forward in those scenarios.”
Jonny, London, UK

“I’ve met a variety of interesting people through [sex
apps]. They are predominantly used for sex though.
They’re sold to us as ‘social networking’ apps, but we
all know what they’re really for. It’s a bit like
selling a dildo under the pretext that it’s sole use is
a draft excluder. I don’t have a problem with that
aspect of it—if people want casual sex, then
something like Grindr is a must—but I’ve met quite a
few new friends through it, so like anything I suppose
it’s what you decide to make of it.”
Stuart, 34, Brighton, UK

“I’ve downloaded Grindr and chatted/sexted men on it but have never physically met men via it. If one was
in need of a sexual encounter, whether it be a hookup or something less casual, one could almost always find something. However, the men on these apps tend to be shallow when it comes to appearances and sexual identity (i.e., ‘looking for masc,’ ‘white and Asian only.’).”
Anon, 20, Minneapolis, Minnesota

“I know one guy who got gonorrhoea, chlamydia, and
syphilis from some guy he met on Grindr. All in one go, like a three-for-two special.”
Ryan, 32, New Jersey

“After a long and slightly messy breakup, I briefly
used Grindr and Scruff—thinking that it would be an
easy way of meeting a potential boyfriend…I realized
very quickly that these services are mainly tailored
toward enabling like-minded people to have sexual
encounters—which isn’t what I was looking for.”
Mike, London, UK

“I don’t believe there are any advantages to these
apps. I believe they are unsafe.”
Mica, 23, London, UK

Using a sex app to hook up is LITTERED with potential risks for which the makers take no responsibility. Tucked away on the websites of sex apps (in very small print) is a safety section which advises users to make sensible “dating” choices. Yes,
everyone on Grindr is looking for a good, hard date.
In order to have the sex off a sex app you will have to meet a potential partner, so this means them coming to yours or you going to theirs. Obviously, this is very risky indeed. As mentioned above, the anonymity of sex-app users means that they have become colonies of cheating partners—a hive of shitweasels, if you will. Beware faceless profiles. They’re faceless
for a reason.

Pg. 161

• If you are on Grindr, under the age of eighteen (it happens), be aware that swapping “adult” pics is actually illegal—you are distributing child pornography, even if it’s of yourself.

Pg. 183-184

“If it’s for a quick shag on Grindr, etc., then yes [roles
matter]. I don’t use those sort of apps to have a chat
or make friends. It’s always better to be having sex
with someone compatible with you in that regard
though. Wanking is something I do on my own, so not
really up for just doing that with a partner.”
Jonny, London, UK

Pg. 199

“If you ask my boyfriend, he’d rather be in a
relationship with someone like me who’s got his HIV
under control, than to rock out of a club every
Saturday with some random who might not know or
might not care. As I’ve said to many naysayers on
Gaydar and Grindr in my single years—‘I’m not the
first person you’ve ever slept with who’s got HIV; I’m
just the first who’s been nice enough to tell you.’

Pg. 202

This chapter was all about sex, not intimacy. You can’t find intimacy in a dark room or on Grindr. More valuable than bum or muff fun is holding hands, kisses, and hugs. I’m sure some of you are miming sticking two fingers down your throat, but IT’S TRUE. Lots of LGBT* people don’t even have sex but can totally identify as gay, bi, or straight because of who they seek intimacy with and who they LOVE. By all means, enjoy sex, but if you go looking for sex because you’re hungry for love, you’ll starve.

Pg. 207

Especially on the gay scene, surrounded by a constant stream of pecs, dicks, tits, and vaginas, it’s hard to settle for just one, but remember—if the person you’re with is kind, funny, loyal, giving,
and loving, then these are things you won’t find in a pair of big arms off Grindr or a cute ass at a bar.

Pg. 256-259

the weird terms, no waiting.

69: Two people giving simultaneous oral sex.

AIDS: A syndrome brought on by the virus HIV.

Asexual: A person who is not interested in sex or has low sexual desire.

Bisexual: A person who fancies both men and women.

Blow job: Oral sex on a guy.

Bottom/passive: Being the partner who “receives” during sex.

Circumcised: Term to describe a boy who has
had his foreskin surgically removed.

Cisgender: The sex you were assigned at birth.

Clitoris: Female erogenous zone.

Coming out: The process of telling people about your identity.

Cum: Common slang term for semen OR to orgasm.

Cunnilingus: Oral sex on a girl.

Curious/questioning: A person in the process of wondering about their sexuality.

Dildo: A sex toy.

Dom: Being the dominant partner during sex.

Douching: Washing out the back passage or lady garden prior to sex.

Drag queen/king: A performer who wears clothes
traditionally assigned to the opposite gender.

Fellatio: Fancy term for oral sex on a dude.

Foreskin: Loose skin at the end of the penis.

Gay: Term to describe a homosexual man or woman.

Glory hole: A hole in a wall or partition through which
a man pokes his peenie.

Grindr: A social network app for gay and bi men

HIV: A virus affecting the immune system.

Intersectionality: The different parts of your whole identity and the impact they have on your life.

Intersex: Term to describe a person born with no clear gender or attributes of both genders.

Labia: The folds at the entrance of the vagina.

Lesbian: A homosexual woman.

Lube: Short for lubricant. Makes sex easier.

Orgasm: Sexual climax.

Orgy: Group sex.

Penis: Male erogenous zone.

Poppers: Slang term for amyl nitrite—an aroma that gives a feeling of light-headedness.

Queer/genderqueer: A person who refuses to label their sexuality or gender.

Rimming: Licking the bottom.

Scat: Eating poop.

Scissor sisters: A sexual position for two women OR an early 2000s electropop band.

Strap-on: A sex toy worn on a belt.

STI: Sexually transmitted infection.

Sub: Being the submissive partner during sex.

Top/active: Being the partner who “gives” during sex.

Transsexual: Any person changing their gender identity.

Transvestite: A person who wears the clothes traditionally assigned to the opposite gender.

Vibrator: A vibrating sex toy.

Water sports/golden shower: Weeing on people in a way considered sexy.

         

Lucky, By Alice Sebold:

Available at: Hempfield Area High School

Summary of Concerns:
This book has very explicit rape scenes. This book is inappropriate for anyone under 18 due to graphic violence and rape.

Pg. 2-23
This is what I remember. My lips were cut. I bit down on them when he grabbed me from behind and covered my mouth. He said these words: “I’ll kill you if you scream.” I remained motionless. “Do you understand? If you scream you’re dead.” I nodded my head. My arms were pinned to my sides by his right arm wrapped around me and my mouth was covered with his left. He released his hand from my mouth.

I screamed. Quickly. Abruptly. The struggle began. He covered my mouth again. He  need me in the back of my legs so that I He covered my mouth again. He kneed me in the back of my legs so that I would fall down. “You don’t get it, bitch. I’ll kill you. I’ve got a knife. I’ll kill you.” He released his grip on my mouth again and I fell, screaming, on the brick path. He straddled me and kicked me in the side. I made sounds, they were nothing, they were soft footfalls. They urged him on, they made him righteous. I

scrambled on the path. I was wearing soft-soled moccasins with which I tried to land wild kicks. Everything missed or merely grazed him. I had never fought before, was chosen last in gym. Somehow, I don’t remember how, I made it back on my feet. I remember biting him, pushing him, I don’t know what. Then I began to run. Like a giant who is all powerful, he reached out and grabbed the end of my long brown hair. He yanked it hard and brought me down onto my knees in front of him. That was my first missed escape, the hair, the woman’s long hair. “You asked for it now,” he said, and I began to beg.

He reached around to his back pocket to draw out a knife. I struggled still, my hair coming out painfully from my skull as I did my best to rip myself free of his grip. I lunged forward and grabbed his left leg with both arms, throwing him off balance and making him stagger. I would not know it until the police found it later in the grass, a few feet away from my broken glasses, but with that move, the knife fell from his hands and was lost. Then it was fists.

Maybe he was angry at the loss of his weapon or at my disobedience. Whatever the reason, this marked the end of the preliminaries. I was on the ground on my stomach. He sat on my back. He pounded my skull into the brick. He cursed me. He turned me around and sat on my chest. I was babbling. I was begging. Here is where he wrapped his hands around my neck and began to squeeze. For a second, I lost consciousness. When I came to, I knew I was staring up into the eyes of the man who would kill me. At that moment I signed myself over to him. I was convinced that I would not live. I could not fight anymore. He was going to do what he wanted to me. That was it.

Everything slowed down. He stood up and began dragging me over the grass by my hair. I twisted and half crawled, trying to keep up with him. Dimly, I had seen the dark entrance of the amphitheater tunnel from the path. As we neared it, and I realized it was our destination, a rush of fear ran through me. I knew I would die. would die.

There was an old iron fence a few feet out from the tunnel entrance. It was three feet high and provided a narrow space through which you had to walk in order to enter the tunnel. As he dragged me, as I scrambled against the grass, I caught sight of that fence and became utterly convinced that if he brought me beyond this point, I would not survive.

For a moment, as he dragged me across the ground, I clung feebly to the bottom of that iron fence, before a rough pull yanked me clean. People think a woman stops fighting when she is physically exhausted, but I was about to begin my real fight, a fight of words and lies and the brain. When people talk about climbing a mountain or riding rough water, they say they became one with it, their bodies so attuned to it that they often, when asked to articulate how they did it, cannot fully explain. Inside the tunnel, where broken beer bottles, old leaves, and other, as yet indiscriminate, things littered the ground, I became one with this man. He held my life in his hand. Those who say they would rather fight to the death than be raped are fools. I would rather be raped a thousand times. You do what you have to. “Stand up,” he said.

I did.

I was shivering uncontrollably. It was cold out and the cold combined with the fear, with the exhaustion, made me shake from head to toe. He dumped my purse and bag of books in the corner of the sealed-off tunnel. “Take off your clothes.” “I have eight dollars in my back pocket,” I said. “My mother has credit cards. My sister does too.” “I don’t want your money,” he said, and laughed. I looked at him. Into his eyes now, as if he was a human being, as if I could speak to him. “Please don’t rape me,” I said. “Take off your clothes.” “I’m a virgin,” I said. He didn’t believe me. Repeated his command. “Take off your clothes.”My hands were shaking and I couldn’t control them. He pulled me forward by my belt until my body was up against his, which was up against the tunnel’s back my belt until my body was up against his, which was up against the tunnel’s back wall. “Kiss me,” he said.

And he drew my head forward and our lips met. My lips were pursed tightly together. He tugged harder on my belt, my body pressing up further against his. He grabbed my hair in his fist and balled it up. He drew my head back and looked at me. I began to cry, to plead. “Please don’t,” I said. “Please.” “Shut up.”

He kissed me again and this time, he inserted his tongue in my mouth. By pleading, I had left myself open to this. Again he pulled my head back roughly. “Kiss back,” he said. And I did.

When he was satisfied, he stopped and tried to work the latch on my belt. It was a belt with a strange buckle and he couldn’t figure it out. To have him let go of me, for him to leave me alone, I said, “Let me, I’ll do it.” He watched me. When I was done, he unzipped the jeans I wore. “Now take off your shirt.” I had a cardigan sweater on. I took that off. He reached over to help unbutton my shirt. He fumbled. “I’ll do it,” I said again. I unbuttoned the oxford-cloth shirt and, like the cardigan, I peeled it back from my body. It was like shedding feathers. Or wings. “Now the bra.” I did.

He reached out and grabbed them—my breasts—in his two hands. He plied them and squeezed them, manipulating them right down to my ribs. Twisting. I hope that to say  his hurt isn’t necessary here. “Please don’t do this, please,” I said. “Nice white titties,” he said. And the words made me give them up, lobbing off each part of my body as he  claimed ownership—the mouth, the tongue, my breasts. “I’m cold,” I said. “Lay down.”

“On the ground?” I asked, stupidly, hopelessly. I saw, among the leaves and glass, the grave. My body stretched out, disassembled, gagged, dead. I sat first, kind of stumbled into a seated position. He took the end of my pants and tugged. As I tried to hide my nakedness—at least I had my underpants on—he looked down at my body. I still feel that in that gaze his eyes lit up my sickly pale skin in that dark tunnel. Made it all—my flesh—suddenly horrible. Ugly too kind a word, but the closest one. “You’re the worst bitch I ever done this to,” he said. It was said in disgust, it was said in analysis. He saw what he had bagged and didn’t like his catch. No matter, he would finish. Here, I began to combine truth with fiction, using anything to try and get him to come over to my side. To see me as pitiful, for him to see me as worse off than him. “I’m a foster child,” I said. “I don’t even know who my parents are. Please don’t do this. I’m a virgin,” I said. “Lie down.”

I did. Shaking, I crawled over and lay face up against the cold ground. He pulled my underpants off me roughly and bundled them into his hand. He threw them away from me and into a corner where I lost sight of them. I watched him as he unzipped his pants and let them fall around his ankles. He lay down on top of me and started humping. I was familiar with this. This was what Steve, a boy I liked in high school, had done against my leg, because I would not let him do what he wanted most, which was to make love to me. With Steve I was fully dressed and so was he. He went home frustrated and I felt safe. My parents were upstairs the whole time. I told myself Steve loved me. He worked away on me, reaching down to work with his penis. I stared right into his eyes. I was too afraid not to. If I shut my eyes, I believed, I would disappear. To make it through, I had to be present the whole time.

He called me bitch. He told me I was dry. “I’m sorry,” I said—I never stopped apologizing. “I’m a virgin,” I said. “Stop looking at me,” he said. “Shut your eyes. Stop shaking.” “Stop looking at me,” he said. “Shut your eyes. Stop shaking.”

“I cant.” “Stop it or you’ll be sorry.” I did. My focus became acute. I stared harder than ever at him. He began to knead his fist against the opening of my vagina. Inserted his fingers into it, three or four at a time. Something tore. I began to bleed there. I was wet now. It made him excited. He was intrigued. As he worked his whole fist up into my vagina and pumped it, I went into my brain. Waiting there were poems for me, poems I’d learned in class: Olga Cabrai had a poem I haven’t found since, “Lillian’s Chair,” and a poem called “Dog Hospital,” by Peter Wild. I tried, as a sort of prickly numbness took over my lower half, to recite the poems in my head. I moved my lips. “Stop staring at me,” he said.”I’m sorry,” I said. “You’re strong,” I tried. He liked this. He started humping me again, wildly. The base of my spine was crushed into the ground. Glass cut me on my back and behind. But something still wasn’t working for him. I didn’t know what he was doing. He kneeled back. “Raise your legs,” he said. Not knowing what he meant, never having done this for a lover, or read that kind of book, I raised them straight up.

“Spread them.” I did. My legs were like a plastic Barbie’s, pale, inflexible. But he wasn’t

satisfied. He put a hand on each calf and pressed them out farther than I could hold. “Keep them there,” he said.

He tried again. He worked his fist. He grabbed my breasts. He twisted the nipples with his fingers, lapped at them with his tongue.Tears came out of the corners of my eyes and rolled down either cheek. I was leaving now, but then I heard sounds. Out on the path. People, a group of laughing boys and girls, passing by. I had passed a party on my way to the park, a party to celebrate the last day of school. I looked at him; he did not hear them. This was it. I made an abrupt scream and, as soon as I did, he shoved his hand in my mouth. Simultaneously I heard the laughter again. This time it was directed toward the tunnel, toward us. Yells and taunts. Good-time noises. We lay there, his hand locked in my mouth and pressing down hard into my We lay there, his hand locked in my mouth and pressing down hard into my throat, until the group of well-wishers left. Moved on. My second chance at escape now gone.

Things weren’t going the way he planned. It was taking too long. He ordered me to stand up. Told me I could put on my panties. Used that word. I hated it. I thought it was over. I was trembling but I thought he’d had enough. Blood was everywhere and so I thought he’d done what he’d come for. “Give me a blow job,” he said. He was standing now. I was on the ground, trying to search among the filth for my clothes. He kicked me and I curled into a ball. “I want a blow job.” He held his dick in his hand. “I don’t know how,” I said. “What do you mean you don’t know how?” “I’ve never done it before,” I said. “I’m a virgin.” “Put it in your mouth.” I kneeled before him. “Can I put my bra back on?” I wanted my clothes. I saw his thighs before me, the way they belled out from the knee, the thick muscles and small black hairs, and his flaccid dick. He grabbed my head. “Put it in your mouth and suck,” he said. “Like a straw?” I said. “Yeah, like a straw.”

I took it in my hand. It was small. Hot, clammy. It throbbed involuntarily at my touch. He shoved my head forward and I put it in. It touched my tongue. The taste like dirty rubber or burnt hair. I sucked in hard.”Not like that,” he said and brought my head away. “Don’t you know how to suck dick?”

“No, I told you,” I said. “I’ve never done this before.” “Bitch,” he said. His penis still limp, he held it with two fingers and peed on me. Just a little bit. Acrid, wet, on my nose and lips. The smell of him—the fruity, heady, nauseating smell—clung to my skin. “Get back on the ground,” he said, “and do what I say.” And I did. When he told me to close my eyes I told him I had lost my glasses, couldn’t even really see him. “Talk to me,” he said. “I believe you, you’re a virgin. I’m your first.” As he worked against me, trying for more and more virgin. I’m your first.” As he worked against me, trying for more and more

friction, I told him he was strong, that he was powerful, that he was a good man. He got hard enough and plunged himself inside me. He ordered me to and I wrapped my legs around his back and he drove me into the ground. I was locked on. All that remained unpossessed was my brain. It looked and watched and cataloged the details of it all. His face, his purpose, how best I could help him. I heard more party-goers on the path, but I was far away now. He made noises and rammed it in. Rammed it and rammed it and those on the path, those so far away, living in the world where I had lived, could not be

reached by me now “Nail her, all right!” someone yelled toward the tunnel. It was the kind of fraternity reveler’s voice that had made me feel that, as a student at Syracuse

University, I might never fit in.

They passed. I was staring right into his eyes. With him. “You’re so strong, you’re such a man, thank you, thank you, I wanted this.” And then it was over. He came and slumped into me. I lay under him. My heart beating wildly. My brain thinking of Olga Cabrai, of poetry, of my mother, of anything. Then I heard his breathing. Light and regular. He was snoring. I thought: Escape. I shifted under him and he woke. He looked at me, did not know who I was. Then his remorse began. “I’m so sorry,” he said. “You’re a good girl,” he said. “I’m so sorry.” “Can I get dressed?” He moved aside and stood up, raised his pants, zipped them. “Of course, of course,” he said. “I’ll help you.” I had begun to let myself shake again. “You’re cold,” he said. “Here, put these on.” He held my underwear out to me, in the way a mother would for a child, by the sides of it. I was supposed to stand up and step in. I crawled over toward my clothes. Put my bra on as I sat on the ground. “Are you okay?” he asked. His tone was amazing to me. Concerned. But I didn’t stop to think of it then. All I knew was it was better than it had been. I stood up and took my underpants from him. I put them on, almost falling for my lack of balance. I had to sit on the ground to put my pants on. I was worried about my legs. I couldn’t seem to control them. about my legs. I couldn’t seem to control them. He watched me. As I inched my pants up, his tone switched. “You’re going to have a baby, bitch,” he said. “What are you going to do about it?”

I realized this could be a reason to kill me. Any evidence. I lied to him. “Please don’t tell anyone,” I said. “I’ll have an abortion. Please don’t tell anyone. My mother would kill me if she knew about this. Please,” I said, “no one can know about this. My family would hate me. Please don’t talk about this.” He laughed. “All right,” he said. “Thank you,” I said. I stood now and put my shirt on. It was inside out. “Can I go now?” I asked.

“Come here,” he said. “Kiss me good-bye.” It was a date to him. For me it was happening all over again. I kissed him. Did I say I had free will? Do you still believe in that? He apologized again. This time he cried. “I’m so sorry,” he said. “You’re such

a good girl, a good girl, like you said.” I was shocked by his tears, but by now it was just another horrible nuance I couldn’t understand. So he wouldn’t hurt me more, I needed to say the right thing. “It’s okay,” I said. “Really.” “No,” he said, “it’s not right what I did. You’re a good girl. You weren’t lying to me. I’m sorry for what I did.” I’ve always hated it in movies and plays, the woman who is ripped open by violence and then asked to parcel out redemption for the rest of her life. “I forgive you,” I said. I said what I had to. I would die by pieces to save myself from real death.

He perked up. Looked at me. “You’re a beautiful girl,” he said. “Can I take my purse?” I asked. I was afraid to move without his permission. “My books?” He went back to business now. “You said you had eight dollars?” He took it from my jeans. It was wrapped around my license. It was a photo ID. New York State didn’t have them yet but Pennsylvania did. “What is this?” he asked. “Is this one of them meal cards I can use at

McDonald’s?” McDonald’s?”

“No,” I said. I was petrified of him having my identification. Leaving with anything other than what he had: all of me, except my brain and my belongings. I wanted to leave the tunnel with both of them. He looked at it a moment longer until he was convinced. He did not take my great-grandmother’s sapphire ring, which had been on my hand the whole time. He was not interested in that kind of thing. He handed me my purse and the books I’d bought that afternoon with my mother.

“Which way you going?” he asked. I pointed. “All right,” he said, “take care of yourself.”

I promised that I would. I started walking. Back out over the ground, through the gate to which I’d clung a little over an hour before, and onto the brick path. Going farther into the park was the only way toward home. A moment later. “Hey, girl,” he yelled at me.

I turned. I was, as I am in these pages, his. “What’s your name?” I couldn’t lie. I didn’t have a name other than my own to say. “Alice,” I said. “Nice knowing you, Alice,” he yelled. “See you around sometime.”

Pg. 15-16

“This is different from a regular exam,” Dr. Husa explained. “I need to take samples in order to make up a rape kit.” “That’s evidence so you can get this creep,” the nurse said. They took pubic clippings and pubic combings and samples of blood and semen and vaginal discharge. When I would wince, Mary Alice squeezed my hand harder. The nurse tried to make conversation, asked Mary Alice what she majored in up at the school, told me I was lucky to have such a good friend, said that being beaten up like I had would make the cops listen to me more attentively. “There is so much blood,” I heard Husa say worriedly to the nurse. As they did the combings, Dr. Husa said, “Ah, now, there is a hair from him!”

The nurse held the evidence bag open and Dr. Husa shook the combings into it. “Good,” the nurse said. “Alice,” Dr. Husa said, “we are going to let you urinate now but then I will have to take stitches inside.” The nurse helped me sit up and then scooted a bedpan under me. I urinated for such a long time that the nurse and Mary Alice made a point of it, and laughed each time they thought I’d stopped. When I was done, what I saw was a bedpan full of blood, not urine. The nurse covered it quickly with paper from the examining table.

“You don’t need to be looking at that.” Mary Alice helped me lie back down.

Dr. Husa had me scoot down so she could take the stitches. “You’ll be sore down here for a few days, maybe a week,” Dr. Husa said. “You shouldn’t do much, if you can avoid it.” But I couldn’t think in terms of days or weeks. I could only focus on the next minute and believe that with each minute it would get better, that slowly all of this might go away. this might go away.

I told the police not to call my mother. Unaware of my appearance, I believed I could hide the rape from her and from my family. My mother had panic attacks in heavy traffic; I was certain my rape would destroy her.

Pg. 17
I tried to think of what I could tell my mother—some kind of story that would explain why I was so sleepy. I could not know, despite the doctor’s warnings, how sore I would be in the morning, or that an elegant latticework of bruises would appear along my thighs and chest, on the undersides of my upper arms and around my neck, where, days later, at home in my bedroom, I would begin to make out the individual pressure points of his

fingertips on my throat—a butterfly of the rapist’s- two thumbs interlocking in the center and his fingers fluttering out and around my neck. “I’m gonna kill you, bitch. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.” Each repetition punctuated by the smash of my skull against brick, each repetition cutting off, tighter and tighter, the airflow to my brain.

Tree’s face, and her gasp, should have told me that I couldn’t hide the truth. But she recovered herself quickly and helped me navigate over to the shower stall. She was uncomfortable around me; I was no longer like her but was other than. I think the way I survived in the early hours after the rape was by spiraling the obsession of how not to tell my mother over and over again in my brain. Convinced it would destroy her, I ceased thinking of what had happened to me and worried about her instead. My worry for her became my life raft. I clung to it, coming in and out of consciousness on my way to the hospital, during the internal stitches of the pelvic exam, and while the psychiatrist gave me the prescription for the very pills that had once made my mother numb.

Pg. 18

She reached through the water and got the large square brick of soap. She drew it down my back, nothing but the bar of soap touching me. I felt the rapist’s words, “worst bitch,” as I would feel them almost constantly for years when I undressed in front of other people. “Forget it,” I said, unable to look at her. “I’ll do it myself. Just put the soap

back.” She did, then pulled the curtain closed, before leaving.

Pg. 23
I had not eaten anything since the night before—since the raisins at Ken Childs’s house—and I could not look at the bagels or doughnuts without feeling what—the rapist’s penis—had last been in my mouth. I tried to stay awake. I had been up for more than twenty-four hours—far longer, what with the all-nighters that I’d pulled during finals week—but I was afraid to fall asleep before my mother got there. My girlfriends and the resident advisor, who, after all, was only nineteen, tried to take care of me, but I had begun to notice that I was now on the other side of something they could not understand. I didn’t understand it myself.

Pg. 27
At approx 12:05 AM while walking on the path past the bathhouse and near the amphitheater I heard someone walking behind me. I started to walk faster and was suddenly overtaken from behind and grabbed around the mouth. This man said “be quiet I’m not going to hurt you, if you do what I say.” He loosened up his grip on my mouth and I screamed. He then threw me on the ground and yanks my hair and said

“don’t ask any questions, I could kill you right now.” We were both on the ground and he threatened me with a knife I never saw. He then began to struggle with me and told me to walk over to the area of the amphitheater. While walking I fell down and he became angry, grabbed my hair and pulled me into the amphitheater. He proceeded to undress me until I was left with my bra and panties. I took off my bra and panties, he told me to lie down which I did. He took off his pants and proceeded to have intercourse with me. After he was done he got up and asked me to give him a “blow job.” I said that I didn’t know what it meant and he said “just suck on it.” He then took my head and forced my mouth on his penis. After he was done he told me to lie down on the ground and again had intercourse with me. He fell asleep on me for a short time. He got up and helped me dress and took $9.00 from my back pocket. I was then allowed to leave and went back to Marion Dorm where I notified the University police.
 

Pg. 27-28
“And what about what he did to my breasts and his fist?” I asked. “We fought more than that.” All I saw were what I thought of as the errors he had made, the things he had left out or the words he had substituted for what had actually been said. had substituted for what had actually been said. “All that doesn’t matter,” he said. “We just need the gist of it. As soon as you sign it, you can go home.”       

Pg. 47
A girl had been gang-raped at a fraternity that year. She had filed a complaint and charges. She was trying to prosecute. But the fraternity members and their friends had made it impossible for her to stay in school. By the time I visited Penn’s campus she had withdrawn. In the elevator of my sister’s dormitory was a crude ballpoint drawing of her with her legs spread open. A group of male figures were waiting in line beside her. The caption read, “Marcie pulls a train.”             

Pg. 51
So I watched Kojak as I lay in my Lanz nightgown and drank chocolate milk shakes. (At first, I had difficulty with solid food. Initially my mouth was sore from the sodomy and, after this, having food in my mouth reminded me too much of the rapist’s penis as it lay against my tongue.)               

The bluest eye, By Toni Morrison:

Available at: Hempfield Area High School

pg. 162-163

He put his head down and nibbled at the back of her leg. His mouth trembled at the firm sweetness of the flesh. He closed his eyes, letting his fingers dig
into her waist. The rigidness of her shocked body, the silence of her stunned throat, was better than Pauline’s easy laughter had been. The confused mixture of his memories of Pauline and the doing of a wild and forbidden thing excited him, and a bolt of desire ran down his genitals, giving it length, and softening the lips of his anus. Surrounding all of
this lust was a border of politeness. He wanted to fuck her—tenderly. But the tenderness would not hold. The tightness of her vagina was more than he could bear. His soul seemed to slip down to his guts and fly out into her, and the gigantic thrust he made into her then provoked the only sound she made—a hollow suck of air in the back of her throat. Like the rapid loss of air from a circus balloon. Following the disintegration—the falling away—of sexual desire, he was conscious of her wet, soapy hands on his wrists, the fingers clenching, but whether her grip was from
a hopeless but stubborn struggle to be free, or from some other emotion, he could not tell. Removing himself from her was so painful to him he cut it short and snatched his genitals out of the dry harbor of her
vagina. She appeared to have fainted. Cholly stood up and could see only her grayish panties, so sad and limp around her ankles. Again the hatred mixed with tenderness. The hatred would not let him pick her up, the tenderness forced him to cover her

pg. 166

And since he was too diffident to confront homosexuality, and since little boys were insulting,
scary, and stubborn, he further limited his interests to little girls. They were usually manageable and frequently seductive.

pg. 181

The little girls. The little girls are the only things I’ll miss. Do you know that when I touched their sturdy little tits and bit them—just a little—I felt I was being friendly? I didn’t want to kiss their mouths or sleep in the bed with them or take a child bride for my own. Playful, I felt, and friendly. Not like the newspapers said. Not like the people whispered. And they didn’t mind at all. Not at all. Remember how so many of them came back? No one would even try to understand that. If I’d been hurting them, would they have come back? Two of them, Doreen and Sugar Babe, they’d come together. I gave them mints, money, and they’d eat ice cream with their legs open while I played with them. It was like a party. And there wasn’t nastiness, and there wasn’t any filth, and there wasn’t any odor, and there wasn’t any groaning—just the light white laughter of little girls and me.

BEYOND MAGENTA, by Susan Kuklin

This book is available at Hempfield Area High School

Strong sexually explicit content includes pedophilia, which is still a crime in the USA.

The 2014 book, Beyond Magenta: Transgender Teens Speak Out, features first-person interviews with six transgender or gender-neutral young adults conducted by US author Susan Kuklin.

This book contains Descriptions of violent behavior, graphic sexual content and pedophilia.

This includes pushing over a pregnant teacher and justifying that behavior (pg 119).

This book also contains graphic descriptions of oral sex being given by children as young as 6 years old. “From six up, I used to kiss other guys in my neighborhood, make out with them, and perform oral sex on them. I liked it. I used to love oral. And I touched their you-know-what’s. We were really young but that’s what we did.” -pg 113.

“This guy got me to perform oral sex on him. I thought I was doing the right thing by performing on him. But I Wasn’t. He was just abusing me. He had total mind control over me………. We finally got caught in the act, and I was very happy because I wanted it to stop. I think the directors were worried that they could get sued because they kept telling me in was consensual. It wasn’t consensual at all” (pg 122)

On page 123 it talks about 14-year-old Mariah being asked by a 17-year-old student for oral sex. The passage reads “well, one time he approached me. He said I’m told you’re really good at head. I was freaked out. I was excited. I was like oh my god. He said Well why don’t you do that on me. I said I would, but I have to go to work right now. When I come back, I will do it” (pg 123-124)

OUT OF DARKNESS, by Ashley Hope Perez

This book is available at Hempfield Area High School

This book contains sexual content such as child rape, child abuse, masturbation, and pornography. It includes bigotry, racism and extreme violence. The book is VERY detailed, vivid, and graphic. There are descriptions of the main character being sexually abused by her father. After the girls’ mother dies, her Pastor encourages her to marry her stepfather as a child. Explicit Language include racial slurs such as the “N” word and “dirty Mexican,”.

PEDOPHILIA is a crime in the USA and those who approved this book should be considered for termination.

Quotes from The books include:

“The boys among us had no trouble moving past the plain clothes and laying down plans. Take her out back, we boys figured, then: hand on the titles; put it in her coin box; put it in her cornhole; grab a hold of that braid”

“He shifted his pajamas, and the part of him that made him a man stuck out, reddish purple and frightening. She had never seen one before except on a baby. This was different. He lifted her hand to his Mouth and licked it. Then he lowered her hand down and closed it around the hardness. His hand moved hers……she watched her hand move back and forth like it didn’t belong to her”

“His hands opened her thighs, and then he was touching her with his mouth, kissing warmth, wetness. She might have been ashamed but she wasn’t. She was alive, trembling alive”

The book goes on to get worse, it has multiple, comprehensive instructions on giving “hand jobs” with an adult male teaching a teen girl, female masturbation justified for pain relief and mental escape by the girl being sexually abused by her stepfather. Male masturbation by stepfather and females love interest. Later in the book, the author teaches young-adult males how to “go down” and give girls a “gift.”

The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie

This book is available at Hempfield Area High School West Hempfield Middle School

Strong themes of sexual abuse,

Pg.24 “I spent hours in the bathroom with a magazine that has one thousand pictures of naked movie stars. Naked woman+right hand= happy happy joy joy” the whole page is about masturbation

Pg. 67 the guys was in love with computers and there is a comparison about having sex with one not in detail

Pg. 70 and71 Books should give you boners then talk about how books should give you a metaphorical boner

There are a lot of sexual innuendos

Pg. 152 Rowdy calls Junior a tree fag then tells him he likes to stick his dick in the knotholes. Junior replies he sticks his dick in the girl trees

TTFN by Lauren Myracle

This Book is Available at Hempfield Area High School and Harrold Middle School

Sexual Content/Heavy or Sensitive Content

Pg.7 Ah, well. We’ll go to the reception and drink away our troubles, cuz that’s what my family does. Angela says that blows my mind that you can drink right there with them. Maddie says it’s cause we’re Irish. It’s the law. Well, they won’t be the ones actually giving me beers. I’ll leave it up to my crazy aunts and uncles. And it won’t be beer it’ll be champagne.

Pg.11 Maddie is hung over after the wedding.

Pg.12 brought up Mr. H. Maddie says About what? About the fact that you almost had an affair with your horny English teacher. How about his whole Christianity kick, can I joke about that? Yeah, I got admit, its great material. It’s not very often that a guy he’s got to try and lure in the girls.

Pg.13 Maddie tells her mom she loves being single and her mom says are you telling me you’re a slut? And then her mom yells out to all her aunts and uncles in this really loud voice someone brings me another drink my little girl’s a slut.

Pg. 15 Zoe saw Angela ‘s dad at Starbucks with another woman and Angela ‘s parents are having issues right now. The girls are suspicious that he’s having an affair.

Pg.17 Zoe says it blows my mind that her mom would call her a slut and she would think it’s funny Angela says she said her mom was drunk though. So, he says which makes it even more mind blowing do you get drunk with your mom?

Pg.18 Zoe ‘s talking about Maddie and says I know Maddie thinks that’s fine the typical Maddie it’s no big deal approach but sometimes I think she’s putting up a front. I mean when you fool around with somebody its Hass to mean something doesn’t it? I don’t agree with the whole friends with benefits philosophy

Pg. 32 tiny is a case. Today in health, she asked how many calories are in a tablespoon of sperm. Do you want to know the answer? Nine. Zoe says I am never giving any wanna blow job, not even my husband. Maddie says bullshit you totally will. Prude prude prude. When you find the person who makes you glow, you’ll go down on him quick as a wink. And then he’ll glow. You’ll blow He’ll glow.

Pg.33 Angela took a bike ride to clear her head about moving and she said that it helped it’s not like I’m leaping up and down for joy, but I don’t feel quite so suicidal anymore.

Pg.36 Angela told her parents that Zoe thought her dad was having an affair. They both laughed and told Angela to tell her that they have a very fulfilling sex life.

Maddie talking to Zoe good morning to you on this lovely day of giving thanks, which would be far lovelier if not the taste of sour beer wafting about my tonsils. Oh, baby can you say cottonmouth? That was so much fun. I kissed chive on the washing machine did I tell you?

Pg.38 I’m gonna let that side because at least I’m getting some.

Pg.41 I was so wasted I fell off the toilet seat.

Pg.42 they’re just friends. Anyway, you were drunk.

Pg.59 Maddie told Angela she’s already going to watch OC with chive and they’re going to down a shot every time Seth looks longingly at summer. Then we’re gonna watch full house for that one we drink every time that obnoxious kid Kimmy shows up.

Pg.60 ok this is embarrassing. I don’t know how to say it. But have you ever heard of girls, like, pleasuring themselves by jiggling their legs? And the term is masturbating Zoe, you can say it mad-tur-bat-ing. Zoe says FYI, I don’t do that. Sometimes I wish I could, but I can’t, so that’s that. Yes, I can pleasure myself quite nicely, thank you very much. And I’m only telling you that because you’re one of my dearest friends on the planet. But don’t go asking for lessons. Zoe says oh cross “X! Are you going to explain what brought this up in the first place? What’s this jiggling their legs business?

Pg.62 I don’t want to be repressed I just think I don’t know that some girls are more so naturally sexual than others like you.

The four of us were out by the pool, which was close, but we climbed over the fence. And Whitney was like I’ll kiss chive and you kiss Brennan, OK? It turned into this total horn dog Macking session with my brush of the app and his hands all over me and now he won’t quit IMing me. He’s like do you want to go to the movie. Do you wanna go out for coffee?

Pg.66 Maddie is telling Angela that she smoked pot for the first time. On page 67 she goes into more detail about her night and how she felt smoking pot. She said I seriously had some wild sensations. It made everything blurry around the edges, if that makes sense. Like the boundaries of the world were melting away, and all these undercurrents of life or swirling around us. And I could see them, that’s what made it so cool.

Pg.72 Maddy’s becoming a stoner she tried it. She really has. Zoe says tried pot. Angela says yes pot weed ganja doobage gank.

Pg.74 Maddie and Zoe talking. Maddie says I heard Doug say something disturbing u can kiss me if you want little boys need lots of kisses. What kind of games are you playing? Please don’t tell me you pretend to be his mommy. Please don’t tell me you don’t spank his iddle-widdle bottom. Zoe says Maddie gross, it’s an inside joke from work.

Pg.75 dude, you got my message? Zoe phone’s on vibrate, otherwise I would have. Maddie ooo, vibrate. Is it as good as your special chair?

Pg.95 dude! Chive gave me a nickel bag of pot to celebrate the birth of Christ. I gave him a cool marble pipe.

Pg.96 still Angela and Maddie talking Angela says her this mean that you’ve learned how to do it so that it doesn’t hurt? The pot? Maddie says I wouldn’t say that, exactly. That’s why I bought the pipe it’s supposed to make it smoother ride. But anything I’ll get better the more you do it right? By the way chive says you can score some really good pot in California so keep your eye out for me. Yeah, that’s all I need to get busted for drugs. Maddie says wine wine wine. Nobody actually gets busted for Buying pot. They only hassle you if you’re a big-time cocaine dealer or something. Angela says OMG you haven’t tried cocaine, have you? Maddie says Angela chill. Pat is my drug of choice, thank you very much.

Pg.97 Listen I gotta go I’ve got a stash my pot somewhere, so my mom’s won’t find it. I’m thinking the box from the set of thank you notes you gave me, but we were 13 ones I throw out the actual cards that is.

Pg.101 Zoe and Angela talking Angela says and Maddie already left her aunt’s house. She was planning on taking her stash with her, did she tell you? Her stash? Of what? Angela says a pot that’s what chive gave her for Christmas. So, he says is she actually gonna smoke it? Oh man Angela. I think it’s really bad that she’s getting high in normal situation’s. Angela says she said it’s a coping mechanism based on years a family tradition, just that her relatives use alcohol instead of pot, and then she was like, not that I have anything against alcohol, don’t get me wrong.

Pg.105 Angela and Maddie are talking Angela asked Maddie if chive and Whitney or an item. Maddie says I guess, although they can’t be that serious, because sometimes chive and I stuff all around. Like yesterday we were on a beer run, and at the stoplight he just leaned over and kissed me out of the blue. A long kiss.

Pg.106 did you smoke the bag of pot he gave you? As a matter fact I did. Do you a problem with that? It’s just part Angela nobody’s gonna get hurt from a little pot.

Pg.108 Zoe and Maddie talking Zoe Mads happy new year! Oh, if you say so can we talk later? I’m kind of hurting here. Harding how? Are you hung over? Maybe just a tad.

Pg.109 Zoe talking to Maddie Doug, and I kissed. We kept kissing and kissing and kissing and kissing. And it’s not like I was swept away or anything but at the same time I didn’t stop him you know I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. Anyway, we somehow ended up with both our shirts practically off but not completely. They were just pushed up really high. And I wasn’t wearing a bra underneath. Maddie says and in the church basement no less. First Mr. H now Doug you give religion a whole new meaning. Husseys for Christ will call it. I Zoe says what if Doug thinks I’m a hussy? What if he woke up this morning it was like there’s something wrong with her? Maddie says Zoe you’re so insane I can hardly stand it. I’m sure he went home with a Stiffie, while visions of Zoe danced in his head. So, he says I just wish I didn’t feel guilty why do I feel guilty? Maddie says I have no idea. All you did is full around. Oh, do you think you made his scrotum tighten? And Zoe says don’t reference that part of his body ever again. Maddie says dog has a scrotum dog has a scrotum!

Pg.113 Angela and Maddie are talking Maddie‘s talking about the concert she went to she says anyways chive bought us all beers with his fake, so we were very happy. At least until chives spilled his on a guy in front of us who happen to be bald.

Pg.117 Angela is going to drink champagne and watch Cinderella story

Pg.124 Angela and Maddie talking about what Angela is going to wear her first day of school and she says maybe her slutwear, a tight sweater that is off the shoulder. Or a white sweater she calls her Pamela Anderson shirt cause it makes her boobs look big. Maddie says a slutty impression and Angela says no I am into looking hot but classy, not like a whore. Maddie tells Angela Zoe is worried Doug thinks she is a whore because they got down and dirty in the church basement.

Pg.132 Zoe and Angela are talking, and Zoe is telling Angela about her first day with dog and how they fold around more than they should’ve. Zoe says I didn’t know it would be this complicated the physical stuff I mean. Angela says just remember that as much as it pains me to say it, it really is OK to fool around or kiss or whatever you wanna call it. Bodies are meant to do that. And there’s a difference between fooling around and hooking up.

Pg.138-140 this is Zoe and Angela talking Zoe says Maddie thinks I am. She thinks I’m a prude. Angela says no offense but compared to Maddie anyone would be. Oh, Zoe says sometimes I worry she’s right though. Like with dad, I still get nervous about all the body stuff. I can never just let go and enjoy it, not all the way Angela says so when you say you can’t just let go and enjoy it. Does that mean things have been progressing? Zoe says well dog wants them to I keep kind of redirecting him. Why do I have to be this way? It’s like I’m stuck in my stupid head, thinking, crap did I shave? Do I smell? Or my breast too small? Is my butt too big? An even worse it doesn’t have to do with peeing noises it has to do with other noises. Angela says other noises. Oh, like body noises you mean. Like slurps and squelches? Oh, wait if you are worried about noises then you guys must have gone pretty far.

Zoe says below the shirt, below the underwear. But just barely. Angela says his are yours? Zoe says oh both. Angela says Zoe you’re not a prude in fact I’d say you’re turning into a sex guru shit girl you’re going to outpace us all.

Pg.141 Zoe and Angela talking as always as I want to tell you something I’m not sure if you can handle it. Angela says OMG did you have sex? Zoe says of course not!

Pg.146 Zoe and Maddie are talking, and Maddie is stoned and saying weird things and Zoe doesn’t like it.

Pg.149-151 Zoe is telling Maddie that she thinks that smoking pot is wrong. They are fighting up and Maddie brought up Zoe fooling around with Doug.

Pg.151-154 Maddie and Angela are talking about the whole blowup between Maddie and Zoe. So, they’re talking about her getting high and the experiences.

Pg.160 Zoe is talking to Maddie because Maddie dared Zoe to tell someone to shut the hell up and Zoe said she said it to Chase Dickinson. He was talking to Kurt Mannheim in French about all kinds of disgusting stuff that’s what started it. He was all my reps getting pathetic because I haven’t had sex in over a month. And that’s why I need a girlfriend someone older who can teach me stuff. Someone who will give me head. Maddie says there’s no way any girl would have sex with him. And Zoe says Kurt said stop people can hear you and she says Zoe? She doesn’t even know what giving head means. Then he poked me in the back and goes do you Zoe do you know what giving head means?

Pg.162 Zoe and Maddie are talking and bring up Mr. H again. So, he tells Maddie I saw Mr. H with Cameron Bryant today by the way I kind of freaked me out. He was leaning close and smiling at her like he used to smile at me. Maddie says you know what I heard from a senior that every year Mr. H has a special female student that he pays a lot of attention to. You Gotta be glad that you have dog, and a dog is in pervy like Mr. H. Then Zoe says you know what else she says that he used to have this girl he hung out with her give him head for over an hour is that possible? Maddie says now that’s just silly. Blowjob should not last over 30 minutes.

Pg.163 now Zoe is talking to Angela and tells her how he saw Mr. H hitting on Cameron Bryant.

Pg.165 Zoe and Angela are talking and Zoe‘s telling her about the prank that they pulled on Mr. H. They stuck a bumper stickers all over his car with superglue. They say stick and stones will break my bones but whips and chains excite me. I’d rather be spanked. Ass pirate. IHeart llamas. Jesus loves you but I am his favorite.

Pg.168 Maddie is daring Zoe again. Maddie said she needs to embrace her sexuality that she needs to glue to marshmallows on the outside of her shirt at her nipple area. And go to the mall. Maddie said she’ll Collett the great marshmallow nipple dares.

Pg.174-175 Maddie is talking to Angela and telling Angela about the dare and how the day went at the mall.

Pg.176-178 Angela and Zoe are talking, and Angela said what were you hiding under your covers? So, he says well actually I was under the covers, but they weren’t mine. And I wasn’t exactly hiding. Zoe says she felt liberated after the dare, and she drove to Doug’s house and his mom wasn’t home. We had the whole house to ourselves. No Angela we didn’t have sex. But we went further than we’ve ever gone before, and the best part is I just let myself enjoy it. I was like wow I never knew my body could feel like that. I know it sounds retarded. Angela says it doesn’t sound retarded it sounds you know like a good thing.

Pg.189 Zoe asks Angela where to get some sexy lingerie Because her parents will be out and dogs coming over. Angela says is it something you plan to model for him, or will it just be a delightful surprise beneath your clothes? Zoe says I’m not going to model it for him! No no no. Just something nice for one way… You know. Angela says then I’d say it’s time to go for the Fong Zoe. Zoe says a fun. That sounds so scary. I don’t you have to have a really good but to wear a thong? You do have to have a really good pet. Luck, here’s the criteria for a thong firm but preferably tan? No dimples? No unruly hairs. Do you meet the requirements? Zoe you Angela. Does anyone really have hair on their butt?

Pg.190 Angela says well not sprouting from the cheeks or anything. I’m talking about from within the crevice. So good. You don’t have butt hair you can cross that off the list. Now, for the firmness element. Cups hands in the air as if squeezing I don’t think you have a any problem there. Zoe says oh my God. I’m getting so nervous just talking about this. But OK-athon. Maybe. What about on top? Angela says just get a good push-up bra with a little lace or ribbon on it. You’ll be able to find one to match the thong.

Pg.192 Angela says well I’ve started cutting myself. Just FYI. Maddie says you’re right. You can’t stand the sound of your pulse, but I suppose to believe you could slice your skin and watch your blood is out? Angela you should go into counseling Maddie. Angela says maybe I’ll start slow and build up. This girl in my math class uses a pink eraser to rub raw spots on the inside of her arm. I could manage that, I bet. Angela says did Zoe ever make it to Victoria secrets. Maddie says oh baby. She just popped by to show me her purchase and their sexcellent. The bra is this filmy thing with lace and a little rosebud in the center and she did in fact get a thong. The thong has the same little rosebud thing going on as the bra. And Angela says my mom says the key to a successful marriage is wearing pretty underwear.

Pg.194 Angela says my aunt gave me some good advice to lean over when you’re putting your bra on and really jiggle your boobs in the place. So many women have an extra inch of cleavage that remains underutilized. It’s over your armpits you just have to shove it in the place. Maddie armpit Cleveland to lovely. Angela says I just want to know you’re wrong about me. I may not be able to stand the sound of my pulse but I’m quite fine with needles as it turns out. I am saying that I’ve pierced my nose and my nipple, and I did it myself in my own bathroom. *Proudly thrust out boob* Maddie says you should be saying this to Zoe if you want shock and if you’re going for a shock value you should tell her you pierced your labia.

Pg.195 Zoe and Angela are talking Angela says I pierced my labia. Zoe says what? Angela says I pierced my labia I got the sudden urge I don’t even know why so I walked into a body art salon, and I just went for it. Zoe says OMG did it hurt? Angela says a little yeah well OK a lot, but I was very brave. In fact, the guy who did the piercing said I was the bravest of anyone he’s done. Zoe says a guy, did it? Why Angela? Angela says because he was the only person there, he does tattoos to do you think I should get a tattoo. And this was all a joke.

Pg.198 Zoe and Maddie are talking about the Saturday night she’s having dog over Maddie says it’s cause you’re having impure thoughts. Just think, Heather Saturday you’ll be a soiled dove. Zoe Maddie now. I told you already we’re not having sex. Maddie says who? Zoe says me and Doug we’re not ready. Maddie, you say you’re not ready but what happens when the passion of the moment overtakes you? Do you have a condom just in case? Zoe oh and where am I supposed to get a condom? Do you think I’m just gonna march into the drugstore and stop I’m not having a Convo! Doug and I are gonna have a lovely romantic evening together, and maybe will fall around and maybe we won’t. But either way we’re not gonna have sex.

Pg.203 Maddie and Zoe talking Zoe what do you think I should wear. Maddie, I thought you were gonna wear your fancy underwear. Zoe but what about on top? I’m not gonna open the door in my bra in a thong. Zoe so what should I wear dogs going to be here in 20 minutes. Maddie your peasant blouse is one of those off the shoulder Delia‘s right I say wear that for easy access.

Pg.205 Angela ran away and took a greyhound to Atlanta and took her 2 1/2 days.

Pg.206 Maddie and Zoe are talking Maddie I got busted by pot Zoe. And I’m grounded hold on what are you grounded for? Zoe my parents came home early from the prom they walked in on me and Doug. Maddie oh no does that mean what I think it means? Zoe, it means that although I’m not a soiled dove, I came very close. It means that my mother saw way more of the dog than she ever wanted.

Pg.209 Angela and Zoe are talking Angela is telling her about how she ran away. Zoe actually I kind of know what you mean. Like after the marshmallow incident, when I decided to just say screw it to being the uptight me that I’ve always been. Although it is true that the uptight me would’ve never been caught naked in bed with my boyfriend.

Pg.213 Maddie and Zoe are talking, and Maddie is telling her about her drug bust. So, Brennan and I took off to downtown Atlanta and Brennan bought a nickel bag and we drove off. Five minutes later, I looked behind me and saw a police car. I didn’t think anything of it, other than remind myself again to get my damn license. They turned on their lights and believe their sirens and I about crapped my pants. I pulled over and the cops yanked me and Brennan out of the car. They had us lean up against the door and they Frisked us and put handcuffs on us. The guy we bought the pot from turned out to be a cop name Rudolph. And they did a license check on the computer and for some reason my license didn’t come up or maybe they just said it didn’t. So, the cop said to me why are you lying to us girl why are you lying. And it’s a long ass or they said that I could go but Brennan was going to be taken to jail. They told me that if I was caught out on the road again then I’d be taken to jail.

Pg.218 Zoe my mother saw my boyfriend’s naked butt.

It’s just so ridiculous, my mom coming home from the prom and catching me and Doug going at it. And poor dog he sent me an email saying he’s never shipping from my house again.

Pg.219 Zoe says here’s the thing we stopped because my mom barged in on us. And if she hadn’t. I don’t know what Would have happened. And that kind of scares me because as you know I wasn’t planning on that. Angela this time you really are talking about sex, right? Zoe, we didn’t even have condoms Angela it would’ve been bad. Angela, are you going to buy some for next time? Zoe there’s not gonna be a next time for a very long time. Zoe the whole night until my mom busted and was amazing. And my body wanted more and more and more. But deep down I’m just not ready.

Pg.225-226 call three girls talking Maddie says this calls for a Google whack! Angela what are you gonna try? Ground girlies? Zoe punished Paul’s. Angela caged cuties? Maddie OK stop. You’re starting to sound pornographic.

Pg.227 all three girls talking Zoe says anyways I just been thinking a lot about it…. And my honest prediction is that we will make love. (She’s talking about Doug)

Pg.228 Zoe just not anytime soon, obviously Maddie unless you do it in the supply closet add kidding around. Ion the other hand will not be getting any action in the near future cause I called chive from school’s payphone and told him that we’re done falling around.

TTYL by Lauren Myracle

This Book is Available at Hempfield Area High School and Harrold Middle School

Sexual Content

Pg.7 our seats are right next to each other, and tonight when I do my homework, I’m gonna fantasize about his summer sausage nudge nudge wink wink.

Did he stare at your boobs? Who Mr. age? Maddie and I had him for journalism last year, and he was always staring at some girl’s boobs, mostly Maddy’s. He makes a big deal of being a Christian, but what that means is that he’s majorly sexually repressed. Whereas I, on the other hand, I’m not sexually repressed at all. Speaking of better start practicing for Rob. Bye

Pg.11 well she said that Margaret… Her… Ejaculates. Well, actually she said she squirts when she comes. And then she was like, shit, I can’t believe I told you.

Pg.14 In other words he stared at your boobs and lectured you about the sins of your body? No that’s not at all what happened. Pg. 15 Like he didn’t want her to get herpes of the mouth or anything. She said he got a total Stiffie while they were talking, she said it was hysterical.

Pg.23 Did he bite his lower lip? No, but he bit mine! The boy can kiss!

Pg.28 I’ve got another meeting with Mr. H tomorrow and I’m kind of freaking. I really wanna impress them. No sweat. Just wear tight shirt and I’ll give you, my name. Wanna let me one of yours? Sure! I was kidding Angela. Hey if you’ve got it flaunt it that’s what my mom says that’s sick.

Pg.33 Back scratching trains is how Christian boys cop a feel.

Pg. 34 & 35 still talking about an affair between Zoe and her teacher Mr. H even though it’s not really happening.

Pg.39 I think he may be the one. The one what? The one I go all the way with! Making love with Rob would be amazing, I just know it. And how, exactly, do you know it? Cuz at least I’ve done more than kiss a guy, that’s hell.

Pg. 40 skank

Pg.45 & 49 superficial psycho-slut

Pg. 46 at least she cut back on the devirginization business

Pg. 52 you’re comparing me to a chick who doesn’t shave your pubes?

Pg. 59 Zoe, or Angela and I going to have to hire a D programmer to come rescue from some cabin? Are you going to become Mr. H’s love slave?

Pg. 60 Did I tell you I saw Rob grab Tonnie’s ass on the way to the keg?

Pg.68 when Carl Balkin Was sitting in the back guffawing with his buds about all the action, he got with some freshman check.

PG. 78 and 79 saw you at Carl’s party with Rob did you get some? Get some what? What do you think? And then she goes or was it Tonie who got lucky?

PG. 93 and 94 talking about Mr. H again

Pg.139 He still hasn’t he’s like a snuggle king, which is nice, but I’m ready for more. I’m a growing girl. I have needs, dammit! Or put on crotchless panties and do a lap dance for him. I know that makes me sound like a slut and I really don’t mean it like that.

Pg. 149 talking about their Halloween costumes and Angela is going to be a dust bunny and Zoe says OMG only you would find a way to sex up a dust bunny. Angela says hey there big boy wants me to nibble your carrot. Then Zoe tells me to gorgeous trick-or-treater hey there big boy want me to give you jock itch? Angela says mall doesn’t offer as many opportunities for seduction, that’s true. Perhaps if you offered to Itch his Jock.

Pg.156 oh you wouldn’t like it. What about when Margaret called you a lezbo. Margaret called Jenne a lezbo? I wasn’t there but apparently it was in PE one day last week. Jenne was strutting around the locker room, I guess she was naked, and Margaret asked if she was a lesbian. And it made everyone crack up. Jenne said oh sweet, coming from you. You’re the biggest lezbo around, always staring at me and laughing at everything I say.

Pg.160 except I hadn’t heard the lesbo remark, which kind of throws a new spin on things. Well, yeah. I’m talking about the whole shirt thing. Because if Janna wanted to get back at Maddie, you think she do something that didn’t involve, like, a girl doing a striptease. Because what does that say about Janna you know?

Pg.164 and they can call each other lezbo‘s all day long if that’s what gets them off.

Pg.172 Talking about Mr. H again. Well, did you have any romantic moments? Meaningful glances, knee touches, that sort of thing? She explained how they talked and then Angela says verbal foreplay. Then Zoe says, he did mention that he’s housesitting for Greg Kravitz parents and that there’s an outdoor hot tub. He kind of hinted around that maybe I could come over one night, and we could gaze at the stars. Angela says in a hot tub, in your bathing suit or maybe in your Nudie pants.

Pg.173 it’s November of course your pal. I am too, although it hardly matters since I’m not going hot tubbing with my lusty young buck of an English teacher. But we haven’t even discussed your thong possibilities! Yikes, you better start doing your butt exercises.

Pg.176 Janna sent pictures. She sent out an email with pictures from that frat party. They were of Maddie dancing on the table, and she was naked from the waist up. Shit. Someone took pictures. Apparently so. And apparently it was Jenne the subject line was lezbo slut.

Pg.182 Zoe was talking to Mr. H about the hot tub, and he says you can wear your bikini. Zoe is talking to Angela at first, I thought he was just teasing me, and I said, yeah, right, me in a bikini. Wouldn’t that be a lovely site. His eyes kind a dipped over my body, and he said, it would indeed be a lovely site. I’ve been looking forward to it. Zoe, you have got to get over this humble pie thing and open your eyes. He is hitting on you. Mr. H is hitting on you.

Pg.184 did you hear what happened in 6th period How Brandt Sims offered her 10 bucks for a peep show?

Pg. 186 Talking about Mr. H again he whispered that he liked my dress he was getting a sparkling apple juice and strawberries and chocolate. Only I’m pretty sure I don’t want to go anymore.

Pg.188 if I hear one more joke about Maddie and the gold club or Maddie charging admission or Maddie being a titty tease, I’m going to scream.

Pg.197 talking about Mr. H again Maddie and Angela rescue Zoe at the hot tub. Mr. H was in speedo ‘s and moving in close to Zoe when they showed up.

ALL BOYS AREN’T BLUE, By George M. Johnson:

This book is available at Hempfield Area High School

This book is for YOUNG ADULTS, not minors.

It is a series of essays and includes a boy being sexually assaulted by another boy. In the chapter “Boys will be Boys”, Johnson discusses molestation at the hands of his cousin, and the difficulty of balancing personal trauma with feeling the need to protect the harm-doer when they are close to the victim. This book is an “AMAZON Best Book of the Year” book.

This is the book referenced by Mom’s for Liberty at a North Penn school district school board meeting in Fall 2021. It is in their elementary schools.

Page 236 “Nervous and drunk, I listened and got on my stomach. He got on top and slowly inserted himself into me. It was the worst pain I had ever felt in my life”

Page 231 “He reached his hand down and pulled out my dick. He quickly went to giving me head. I just sat back and enjoyed as I could tell he was too.”

Page 232 “After a few minutes of fun and games, he got up and went to his nightstand, where he pulled out a condom and some lube. He then lay down on his stomach. I knew what I had to do even if I had never done it before. I had one point of reference, though, and that was seven-plus years of pornography”

Page 233 “I remember the condom was blue and flavored like cotton candy. I put some lube on and got him up on his knees, and I began to slide into him from behind”

ACE OF SPADES, by Faridah Abike-Lyimide

This book is available at Hempfield Area High School and Harrold Middle School

The book summary states it’s about a high school setting, but upon reading the book you will see it is about a post-college student.

This book is for young adults and up.

REVIEW by an Islamic School Librarian. The book has sexual relationships and sensual encounters between gay, queer, lesbian, bisexual, and heterosexual characters on EVERY SINGLE PAGE. I considered stopping, it was over the top, forced, and honestly a little hard to read at times, but I continued because the commentary on racism and suspense storyline was well done, and I was genuinely curious to see the climax and resolution. I write this review as a heads-up and to opine on the lack of mention of the amount of romance and sex in the book and its blurbs. As a reader and someone who recommends books to people a lot, knowing what the majority of the book is about is helpful. To completely not mention something that is such a huge part of the book is frustrating, and so I’m writing this up more as an FYI, than a thorough review. There are no Muslim characters, and the only mention of religion is a side character reading the Bible. Coming from an Islamic School Librarian standpoint, without exception, this book would be considered inappropriate.

There is violence, sex (hetero, gay, and lesbian), cursing, drinking, drug use, drug selling, romance, kissing, hit-and-run, conspiracy, making out, drug dealing, physical beatings, passing out drunk, drunk driving, lying, cheating, racism, bigotry, hate speech, gaslighting, privilege, death, gun violence, destruction, murder, attempted murder, crude language, assault, blackmail, misogyny, homophobia, voyeurism, institutionalized racism, and probably more. Mature content.

There is no way I would suggest, recommend, or encourage this book to Islamic or any high schoolers.